Reality

There are days. Days where the challenges of being a stay at home mom of 15 month old twins are magnified. Yesterday was definitely one of those days. I needed to go to the grocery store. Not the run in and grab a few things type trip. It was a, been eating pb&j everyday, using Kleenex for toilet paper, squeezing my babies size 4 buns into random leftover size 3 diapers, an hour and a half and 325 dollars later kind of grocery store adventure.

My husband had graciously offered to handle the nighttime duties so I could go alone after he got off work. But I so cherish the evenings we have as a family and it is actually a good thing to get the kids out of the house. So, against my better judgement, with my two monkeys in tow we headed to the store.

Thank heavens for double seat shopping carts at HEB! I brought sippy cups and a few snacks. About 30 minutes in I could sense some boredom setting in. Out of snacks I decided to bust open an unpaid for can of blueberry cereal puffs. (Gasp! Yes, I was one of thoooose moms.)

While my children entertain themselves with snacks and singing loudly, I overhear a mom of two school aged children. She is on the verge of tears saying "ok, I'm done, this is not working, I'm calling dad to see if he can come get us, yeah, I can't do this" while her children both cried and pushed each other. My heart gets sad for her, I am sure I will be there one day. But, I am thankful for my children's patience at that point and venture on.

We reach the one hour point and all is still smooth minus the 1,457,320th old lady to stop and admire my children. Don't get me wrong I love it and am in no way ungrateful, but, the questions about if they are boys or girls, are they identical, how old are they, who was born first, was I surprised to have twins... Holy crap grandmas, I am already on borrowed time here. So forgive me if I walk briskly the other way when you reach out your arm to stroke my child's semi-bald head.

The last 30 minutes however, things went sour. Most sane people would forget the last 10 things on the list and call it quits. My personality just can't do it though. I have to finish things in their entirety! That and attempting another trip sounded about as fun as poking a fork in my own eyeball.

So I become the crazy lady singing every song that came to mind, making car sounds and driving my cart wildly around every corner while my daughter attempts magician-like tricks trying to free herself from the safety restraint without actually unfastening the buckle and my son flails his long arms behind him grabbing every grocery item within reach in my cart and throwing them violently on the ground below.

At this point my stress level has increased twofold. I become feisty and yell at two young Asian men who have proceeded to block me from my own cart and children while I am attempting to scrounge 572 half gallon cartons of lactose free milk from the tip top shelf of the coolers. (Seriously, some people.)

We finally reach the checkout where I run into my dear friend Allison. Between the glazed over look on my face and the sighs I kept letting out, I fear I may have terrified her from ever having kids! I pay my outrageous bill and attempt to help pile more groceries into my cart where I knock baby girl on the head with a carton of milk. I can't catch a break.

I swing her onto my hip while she full on melts down while Bubba still insists on emptying the shopping cart onto the floor. I reach the exit (clearly marked with red symbols exclaiming do not enter) and the automatic doors open. A lady attempts to enter with her massive empty shopping cart. I ram straight into her. Intentionally. And I am not the least bit sorry. She pulls her hands back from the ricochet of the cart and gasps at me in pure shock. I respond firmly "that's what you get, it's an exit not an entrance." Nope, still not at all sorry. How dare she try to cut me off at an EXIT while I am guiding an overflowing cart with one hand/arm with a screaming tiny human on my hip! (Seriously, some people!)

I am however happy to report that we survived, I didn't forget anything, and my house is now nicely stocked with necessities that should last a couple weeks. And then, when all that runs out... I will use better judgement and get some babysitters next time! :)